Prayer of Release

Today I write with a heavy, angry and humbled heart.  My friend Theresa lost her battle with breast cancer last night.  I met Theresa at Pink Paint last year, a painting class at Pink Ribbons Project.  She and I were diagnosed with breast cancer weeks apart in 2008.  She was 28 at the time and had a son who was just a year and a half.  We went through a similar regimen of treatment and were both cancer free until last year when her cancer metastasized to her liver.  She was a vibrant young lady with a soft, loving and positive spirit, always with a smile.

I have really struggled with how quickly she went from well to 24 hour hospice care and then death.  I have a tremendous amount of survivor guilt, lots of questions to God of why her and not me.  Frankly, it has sent me in a tizzy and I have found myself thinking about my own funeral.  And of course, I am looking for God’s message in all of this.  Seek him, trust in him, his will is good.  It is hard for me to wrap my head around good when a young mother has just left her husband, 4 year old and many loved ones. 

To the world she is part of the cycle of life, to our country she is another cancer statistic, to her community she is a hero and to her family and friends she is wife, mommy, daughter, neighbor and on and on.  Ultimately, she is God’s daughter and for whatever reason she has been called to him.

I heard Don Piper speak at our church years ago before I was diagnosed with cancer.  He died in a car accident in 1989 and lay dead for 90 minutes.  He was prayed over by a pastor and then returned to life.  He travels the country speaking of his account of heaven and has written several books, including 90 Minutes in Heaven.  I know this may all sound hokey, but his story is real and it was one I will never forget.  I often think about his words and experience and how profound it was.  Today I think about Theresa and the angels that must have greeted her last night, the sound of hymns, the light and the peace.  She is at a better place, truly.

When I was going through treatment I had a prayer warrior who would send me beautiful prayers.  She would write about whatever issue I was experiencing at that time.  I went through them this morning and found this one that perfectly speaks to me today.

Prayer of Release

I know the one in whom I trust, and I am sure that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until the day of His return. 2 Timothy 1:12 NLT

Heavenly Father, I release to you the burdens that I have been carrying, burdens that You never intended for me to carry. I cast all my cares upon You-all my worries, all my fears.

Father, calm my restless spirit, quiet my anxious heart, still my troubling thoughts with the assurance that You are in control. I let go of my grip upon the things I have been hanging onto, with opened hands I come to You.

I thank You for Your promise to sustain me, preserve me, and guard all that I have entrusted to Your keeping. Protect my heart and mind with Your peace, the peace that passes all understanding. Father, may Your will be done in my life, in Your time, and in Your way.

Be Well,