My dear oncologist, Dr. Edgardo Rivera is leaving the Methodist hospital for MD Anderson in Phoenix, Arizona. Sniff, sniff, sniff- I am sad to say the least.
If you don’t know me very well, I confess that I am a high maintenance patient. I need comfort, I need patience, I need hope and love. I need to be able to come to an appointment with a list of questions and concerns. I need a team of active listeners, I need to be able to have a break down in the infusion room, I need to feel safe at an appointment to get angry and question recommendations, I need laughter, I need to hear that it’s okay that I need a drink of wine, I need to be asked about my husband, my children, my parents, I need to be supported in every way, I need an advocate. Dr. Rivera, you have been all of these things to Me! Thank you friend! How will I ever replace you?
I looked for a poem to describe my innermost feelings of gratitude for Dr. Rivera, but instead I found this lovely, humorous poem on mammograms. And since I don’t ever have to have another mammogram in my life, I thought it was only fitting to share with you. It’s called Ode to Mammograms, author unknown.
For years and years they told me, Be careful of your breasts,
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them, And give them monthly tests.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them, And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings, And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully, And always wore a bra.
Guarded them very carefully, And always wore a bra.
After 30 years of astute care, My Doctor found a lump.
She ordered up a mammogram, To look inside that lump.
She ordered up a mammogram, To look inside that lump.
"Stand up very close" she said. As she got my boob in line,
"And tell me when it hurts," she said. "Ah yes! There, that's fine."
"And tell me when it hurts," she said. "Ah yes! There, that's fine."
She stepped upon a peddle. I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate pressed down and down, My boob was in a vice!
A plastic plate pressed down and down, My boob was in a vice!
My skin was stretched and stretched, From way up under my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed, To swedish pancake thin.
My poor boob was being squashed, To swedish pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt, Within its vice-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing, My poor defenseless tit!
A prisoner in this vicious thing, My poor defenseless tit!
"Take a deep breath", she said to me, Who does she think she's kidding?
My chest is smashed in her machine, And woozy I am getting.
My chest is smashed in her machine, And woozy I am getting.
"There, that was good", I heard her say as the room was slowly swaying.
"Now let's have a go at the other one". Lord have mercy, I was praying.
"Now let's have a go at the other one". Lord have mercy, I was praying.
It squeezed me from up and down, It squeezed me from both sides,
I'll wonder if she's never had this done, Not to her tender little hide!
I'll wonder if she's never had this done, Not to her tender little hide!
If I had no problem when I came in, I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there, It would have popped, Ker-pow!
If there had been a cyst in there, It would have popped, Ker-pow!
This machine was designed by man, Of this I have no doubt,
I'd like to stick his balls in there. And see how they come out!
I'd like to stick his balls in there. And see how they come out!
So Ladies, get out and get your mammograms- forget the over 50 recommendation! I had my baseline at age 35 and think you should too! And as for my oncologist, pray for me. That God taps me on the shoulder and tells me who to consult with next.
Here are a few photos of me and Dr. Rivera. The first was my last day of chemotherapy and the second was from the 2010 Waltz Warrior fundraiser.
Oh, be sure and look at my book list and eating out information that was just added to my sidebars. More to come!
Be Well Everyone,
Oh No! Hate to see him go. Hope he has some good recommendations!
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