Anxious Mice and Calm Counterparts

Hello Everyone,

Summer has hit the Waltz home with a Wham! Bam! Slam!  For some reason I find myself irritable, overwhelmed and tired.  Hmm, maybe it’s because my 3 children are finding it hard to live with each other all day.  This in turn, is making it hard for me to live with them all day!  If anyone has any tips on how to parent in the summer (other than to leave the house for a week) please send them my way!  My sister just told me that we have eighty-something days left until school starts.  Ugh, is it that longJ??

I was at the monthly Waltz dinner last night and Brett’s step-mom reminded me that she recently hit the ten year mark as a breast cancer survivor.  Wow!  What an accomplishment.  It seems so far away for me, but then again I remember so clearly when she was going through her treatment like it was yesterday.  Maybe my ten year anniversary will be here in a blink and maybe by then I will worry about cancer less….  I’m still waiting for the day when I will go 24 hours without thinking about cancer and recurrence.  I know it can’t be good for my stress hormone friends cortisol and norepinephrine, but geez cancer is all around me.  It’s what I see every morning in the mirror from past surgeries, it’s what I read on my computer, it’s what is in the literature that comes in the mail, it’s what is on the prayer requests at church, it’s in the news, it’s in my neighborhood, it’s what I fight every day. 

A recent study came out of Stanford University that looked at anxiety-prone mice and cancer.  Researchers found that the mice with anxiety developed more severe cancer then their calm counterparts, the first study to biologically connect the personality trait of high anxiety to greater cancer threats.  Aye Yai Yai!  Are you an anxious mouse or a calm counterpart?  This anxious mouse (Me, Myself and I) chooses to embrace the big C by getting involved, sharing resources, supporting others and talking about “it”!

Be Well,

Cancer Genes

Hi everyone,

There is more evidence supporting the need for breast cancer individualized care in this study published yesterday in Nature.  I suppose the increased combination of mutations possible for breast cancer is true for all cancers.  Interesting.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/05/120516152349.htm

Be Well,

Another Day in the Life of Me

I’m homebound after another reconstructive surgery on Wednesday.  Ahhh, just another day in the life of me… the drains, the military showers, the meds, and catching up on Bill & Giuliana. 

On last week’s episode Giuliana has a double mastectomy.  I’m watching- laughing out loud and crying at the same time.  I know I said this on my last post, but I relate to her in many ways.  Her parents are there and heartbroken to see their little girl dealing with cancer.  They are Italian and outwardly love with everything always family first!  Bill, the great husband is emotional, funny and sincere.  Pre-surgery Giuliana gets versed (the best cocktail ever!) to relax her.  I confess I have honestly looked forward to this little concoction with all my past procedures.  Oh, how it makes all my troubles disappear!  Giuliana is loopy and starts slurring her words, so Bill cuts the camera off.

After a successful surgery, Giuliana shows us her drains and her bloated stomach.  I’m laughing again as I sit here complaining of my drains and bloated stomach.  But, she has such a positive spirit and never dwells on her hurdles.  It is the reminder I need to hear to be thankful this Sunday morning.  So I tell myself "praises in the storm, praises in the storm" and think about what I am thankful for.

 

           Sunday morning thank you:

 

Thank You St. Luke’s Hospital for putting the small prayer in the bathroom that I read right before my surgery this week.

Thank You Dr. Reisman for being another parental figure for Brett and I, always putting our best interest first.

Thank You Brett for being my nurse, comedian, nanny, chauffer and roommate even after all the drug induced locomotive snoringJ.

Thank You Mom, Dad, Kathy, James, Tina and everyone who helped make our family work this week.

Thank You Angels for hovering over me, your wings were extra loud this week and gave me peace and comfort. 

The episode ends with B & G finding out that a surrogate is pregnant with their child.  I’m crying again as I remember the yearn for children and the joy that came with every milestone towards that miracle.  God is Good!

Be Well, I’m off to eat blueberries!

B & G

Bill and Giuliana Rancic are the couple behind a reality show Giuliana & Bill which is entering its fifth season on the Style Network.  http://www.mystyle.com/mystyle/shows/giulianaandbill/index.jsp

B & G were married in 2007 and have since struggled with infertility.  Last year as the couple was starting a new round of IVF it was discovered that Giuliana had breast cancer.  She had a double lumpectomy and then a double mastectomy.  The show has followed her through this new storm- through triumphs and struggles.  It’s an amazing, raw chronicle of her fears, grace and solid relationship with her husband Bill.  Oh Bill, what a great husband you are! 

I relate with Giuliana on so many levels and respect her for her forthcoming words and letting us get a glimpse into her world.  Yes, it’s a reality show with a lot of great editing, but there sure is a lot of truth to B & G.  I made Brett watch the show with me last week and I think every cancer husband should watch this show.  I’m thankful for my husband and the road traveled with me, it has made us stronger and given us a yearn for balance and health.

Be Well,

Antianxiety

Hello Everyone,

I’m writing here from New York where I am celebrating my birthday.  I was listening to the sounds out on the busy streets this morning and heard several fire trucks zoom by.  It reminded me of 911 and I imagined what traumatic sounds must have been coming from the NY streets that day.  I wonder if those who experienced the sounds have post traumatic stress disorder triggers when they hear sirens of any kind. 

If any of you have experienced anxiety or traumatic stress, you know that emotional doom that can overwhelm your spirit and body.  For cancer patients, the ongoing doom might come from a new body pain that won’t subside, or a nagging cough, or a lump under your skin, or an abnormal blood test.  Nothing compares to the doom I felt when Dr. Reisman told me I had cancer.  I remember his words crystal clear and I remember the feelings that followed and followed and followed…

Anxiety and stress try to creep back into my life often and I imagine it will be this way for a while.  For the most part, distraction works as a good coping mechanism for me, but oh my! it sure does take work.  When I am anxious, distraction might come in the form of walking into another room, praying out loud, listening to music, yoga, putting my face in the freezer or visualizing something empowering.  I might inhale deeply and exhale through pursed lips.  Or, call my mom or meet with some golden friends to talk it out, which always helps.  Bottom line, figure out what works for you when you are anxious.  We cannot let “C” overwhelm our spirit.  Damn you Cancer!

Be Well, I’m off to celebrate some more at www.candle79.com!         

All Good Things About FOUR

A four leaf clover, The Four Seasons, four great elements- earth, water, fire and wind, petit fours, friends 4-ever, Four Christmases, PlayStation 4, the four gospels- Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, four heart chambers, four-wheel drive, iphone 4, Final Four, 4^th of July, four-letter words??, 4 by Beyonce, four calling birds, and drum-roll please…….. Next week marks my fourth year from being diagnosed with the Big C.  March 20^th to be exact.  The date really should be much earlier because I discovered my lump months before.  I’ve often wondered when the angiogenesis started- only God knows. 

Anyway, here I am in 2012 almost about to turn 4-0!  This is a sweet year for me.  I love birthdays and getting older.  For me, it means that I have lived, lived to see family milestones, lived to see progress in cancer fighting research and lived to see my cancer fighting friends LIVE!  (love you girls xoxo)  Next year my chances of recurrence will significantly go down and then I will look towards year 10 J. 

This brings me to an exciting and upcoming clinical trial at MD Anderson.  This summer, 120 cancer patients will be recruited from the Nellie B. Connally Breast Center to test the premise that comprehensive integrative oncology, including certain lifestyle and behavior changes, may strengthen the body’s defenses against cancer.  The trial will test whether conscious efforts to strengthen the body’s natural defenses against cancer can make a difference, specifically exploring whether improving patients’ diet and nutrition, levels of physical activity, stress management and social engagement can help them avoid a recurrence and increase survival. (taken from MD Anderson’s Network publication). 

I’m looking forward to seeing these results.  Longevity friends, longevity!  Don't forget to eat your leafy greens, try some yoga, take deep breaths, pray and spend time with your golden friends and family.

Let’s Be Well,  I'm off to ski! 

Praises in the Storm

Brett and I had the privilege of hearing the brother of David Servan-Schreiber (author of Anticancer: A New Way of Life) speak last week at MD Anderson.   Franklin Servan-Schreiber spoke on the legacy of his brother, particularly his last months of life and the process of dying from cancer recurrence.  

Warning:  I’m going to talk about death

I left the event humbled with many mixed feelings.  BIG questions on my life plan crept up again- “What is God’s plan for me?” “How long will I live?” “What if it’s back?”  Of course, these are all the questions and fears that I shouldn’t dwell on.  But jeez, how’s a cancer patient supposed to completely clear the morbid thoughts forever?  I decided (once again) I would embrace life, the entire cycle of it- caterpillar, butterfly and all.  If you know me, you know I speak openly about living and dying.  Brett knows small details about the planning of my funeral like...  I want to have “On Eagle’s Wings” sung at my funeral.  And…  I would really like the have the young girl from our church sing it.  His response is always “you had better tell someone else, because you are going to outlive me”.  Okay, okay.  I am planning to live a really, really long time, isn’t everyone?  It just so happened that I have had to think a little bit sooner about death than most.  Cancer or not, we should all be prepared.  “Prepared”- hmmm, and what does that mean.      

David wrote Not the Last Goodbye in the few months before his death.  It was published in June 2011 and went straight to the best sellers list.  He died 8 weeks later in a small hospital in Normandy, France.  It’s a beautiful story on his life explaining his recurrence from brain cancer and his process of dying.  He writes on hope and reminds his audience of the measurable data out there on living an ‘anticancer way of life’.  He writes:

“There is no miracle cure against cancer, no 100 percent success rate, even in conventional medicine, which is extremely effective.  However, there are ways to maximize our natural defenses by taking care of our bodies both physically and mentally.  There’s no doubt that these methods, which are accessible to everyone, reinforce the potential of our natural self-defense systems.  Numerous research studies have delivered conclusive proof, and fortunately, there are physicians and hospitals that recognize it.  In my case, I am convinced that these approaches have considerably improved my life, both in terms of its span and its quality.  I was first diagnosed with a brain tumor nineteen years ago.  The fact that I have lived all these years with such an aggressive form of cancer- 99 percent of people with this cancer do not live longer that six years- is enough to support the idea that it is within my power to contribute positively to my health.” 

I don’t know about you, but this sure does give me a kick in the behind to start living better.  Not just nutrition, but to work on my stress management, be more aware of the chemicals surrounding me, see my longevity and golden friends more.  Thankfully today, I get to go on a weekend retreat with one of my golden friends.  How timely is that! 

During his speech, Franklin told us that his brother often turned to Psalm 23, psalm of David.  I will remember this always.

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

 1 The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,

he leads me beside quiet waters,

 3 he refreshes my soul.

He guides me along the right paths

   for his name’s sake.

4 Even though I walk

   through the darkest valley,

I will fear no evil,

   for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

   they comfort me.

 5 You prepare a table before me

   in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil;

   my cup overflows.

6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me

   all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the LORD

   forever.

Be Well,