Another Day in the Life of Me

I’m homebound after another reconstructive surgery on Wednesday.  Ahhh, just another day in the life of me… the drains, the military showers, the meds, and catching up on Bill & Giuliana. 

On last week’s episode Giuliana has a double mastectomy.  I’m watching- laughing out loud and crying at the same time.  I know I said this on my last post, but I relate to her in many ways.  Her parents are there and heartbroken to see their little girl dealing with cancer.  They are Italian and outwardly love with everything always family first!  Bill, the great husband is emotional, funny and sincere.  Pre-surgery Giuliana gets versed (the best cocktail ever!) to relax her.  I confess I have honestly looked forward to this little concoction with all my past procedures.  Oh, how it makes all my troubles disappear!  Giuliana is loopy and starts slurring her words, so Bill cuts the camera off.

After a successful surgery, Giuliana shows us her drains and her bloated stomach.  I’m laughing again as I sit here complaining of my drains and bloated stomach.  But, she has such a positive spirit and never dwells on her hurdles.  It is the reminder I need to hear to be thankful this Sunday morning.  So I tell myself "praises in the storm, praises in the storm" and think about what I am thankful for.

 

           Sunday morning thank you:

 

Thank You St. Luke’s Hospital for putting the small prayer in the bathroom that I read right before my surgery this week.

Thank You Dr. Reisman for being another parental figure for Brett and I, always putting our best interest first.

Thank You Brett for being my nurse, comedian, nanny, chauffer and roommate even after all the drug induced locomotive snoringJ.

Thank You Mom, Dad, Kathy, James, Tina and everyone who helped make our family work this week.

Thank You Angels for hovering over me, your wings were extra loud this week and gave me peace and comfort. 

The episode ends with B & G finding out that a surrogate is pregnant with their child.  I’m crying again as I remember the yearn for children and the joy that came with every milestone towards that miracle.  God is Good!

Be Well, I’m off to eat blueberries!

B & G

Bill and Giuliana Rancic are the couple behind a reality show Giuliana & Bill which is entering its fifth season on the Style Network.  http://www.mystyle.com/mystyle/shows/giulianaandbill/index.jsp

B & G were married in 2007 and have since struggled with infertility.  Last year as the couple was starting a new round of IVF it was discovered that Giuliana had breast cancer.  She had a double lumpectomy and then a double mastectomy.  The show has followed her through this new storm- through triumphs and struggles.  It’s an amazing, raw chronicle of her fears, grace and solid relationship with her husband Bill.  Oh Bill, what a great husband you are! 

I relate with Giuliana on so many levels and respect her for her forthcoming words and letting us get a glimpse into her world.  Yes, it’s a reality show with a lot of great editing, but there sure is a lot of truth to B & G.  I made Brett watch the show with me last week and I think every cancer husband should watch this show.  I’m thankful for my husband and the road traveled with me, it has made us stronger and given us a yearn for balance and health.

Be Well,

Antianxiety

Hello Everyone,

I’m writing here from New York where I am celebrating my birthday.  I was listening to the sounds out on the busy streets this morning and heard several fire trucks zoom by.  It reminded me of 911 and I imagined what traumatic sounds must have been coming from the NY streets that day.  I wonder if those who experienced the sounds have post traumatic stress disorder triggers when they hear sirens of any kind. 

If any of you have experienced anxiety or traumatic stress, you know that emotional doom that can overwhelm your spirit and body.  For cancer patients, the ongoing doom might come from a new body pain that won’t subside, or a nagging cough, or a lump under your skin, or an abnormal blood test.  Nothing compares to the doom I felt when Dr. Reisman told me I had cancer.  I remember his words crystal clear and I remember the feelings that followed and followed and followed…

Anxiety and stress try to creep back into my life often and I imagine it will be this way for a while.  For the most part, distraction works as a good coping mechanism for me, but oh my! it sure does take work.  When I am anxious, distraction might come in the form of walking into another room, praying out loud, listening to music, yoga, putting my face in the freezer or visualizing something empowering.  I might inhale deeply and exhale through pursed lips.  Or, call my mom or meet with some golden friends to talk it out, which always helps.  Bottom line, figure out what works for you when you are anxious.  We cannot let “C” overwhelm our spirit.  Damn you Cancer!

Be Well, I’m off to celebrate some more at www.candle79.com!